Things of Which I am Mildly Ashamed

• Isaac bought a can of caramel popcorn from the boyscout who lives next door, and I stood in the kitchen and ate all the peanuts out of it. All of them.
• I don't like satires. I realize that makes me one of Them, but I can't seem to help it. Instead of thinking they're funny, I usually find them a little offensive. Either I must be narrow-minded and uneducated, or I have no sense of humor. It's really depressing.
• My daughter is afraid of vacuum cleaners. (She even cried out in her sleep just now, after I merely wrote the words.) Please don't misunderstand me; I am in no way ashamed of my daughter. It's just that I'm pretty sure the reason they scare her is that the sound is so unfamiliar to her. I think I can count on one hand the number of times I've vacuumed since she'd been born. Yes, it's a dusty, dirty world we live in.
• I never send birthday cards, not even if I really like you. You're lucky, and I mean really lucky, if I remember to call.
• When I was a freshman in college I used to regularly (as in once a week) eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's in one sitting. This also makes the list of Things of Which I am Immensely Proud.
• I am afraid of the dark. And I'm pretty sure that if the shower curtain is pulled when I go into the bathroom, there must be ninjas hiding behind it, waiting to attack me. This is the real reason we have two nightlights in our very small apartment. They're not for Lizzy at all.