Somebody asked me recently what it means to have a "broken heart and a contrite spirit." I didn't have a great answer. I sort of get it, but not really.
I've been really grumpy recently, feeling impatient and snappish. I was especially grumpy this morning, because I had put off doing the dishes for awhile, and had managed to accumulate a huge mess in the kitchen. Lizzy had not slept as long as I thought she needed to, and was consequently a little whiny. I was starting to find her irritating. As I was trying to sort things out in the kitchen she pushed a chair up behind me, climbed up onto it, and reached for a pair of scissors that were on the counter. Annoyed as much as I was concerned, I snatched them from her, and in the process I managed to smack her in the head with my elbow. She rubbed her now sore eye and clung to me and said in a small voice, "I help Mommy." My heart broke, and I realized I had not even been trying to be kind to my little girl. All she wanted was to spend time with me and help me, and I was acting like she was in my way. So we pulled her chair up to the sink and I gave her a sponge. She had a great time helping me wash dishes, and I did not mind how much water she splashed on the floor (it needed mopped anyway). I realized that it's actually not hard to be kind to someone you love so much if you remember to do it. My mood also improved a ton, and now I would say I'm having a great day. Lizzy is such a fun person and taking the time to listen and pay attention to her brings me a lot of happiness. She constantly makes me laugh. I'm grateful for life lessons taught by a 20-month-old.